


Broken Flowers

by thegay_herb



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Broken Hearts, Clay | Dream & Technoblade Friendship (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream Loves GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound in Love (Video Blogging RPF), Crying, DNF, Gay, GeorgeNotFound Loves Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Sad, dreamnotfound, im trying with the tags i swear i am
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:06:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29975745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegay_herb/pseuds/thegay_herb
Summary: “If you know you fucked up, let me go.”The words tore into the blond’s chest with unmerciful grips. Implication after implication flew through his mind and his only response was to vigorously shake his head.Clay makes the biggest mistakes of his life and he knows it, but is there any way to fix this shattered situation?
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Kudos: 19





	1. Mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> eyo my fellow angst lovers. heres some sadness, go get it-  
> why can i only write angst well eueueueueueueu  
> but anyways  
> yes i did use dreams real name here. as far as im aware hes okay with it (ik sapnap is not so i will not be using his real name along with anyone else uncomfortable with it) but if yall know otherwise, pls tell me!!!  
> im most likely making this into multiple chapters so also tell me if yall would like to see that  
> (forgive me if the notes get fucked up. im still figuring them out)

It was unrequited love.

A story as old as time. This had been played over and over again, too many people losing themselves for someone that barely glanced towards them. Heartaches and tear jerking moments, shaky nights of hatred and yearning. Pain filled the brains of those that dared fall in love.

This was different in a way though. The love was requited and they both knew of it. Yet, something messed it up that led to right now. Silly mistakes made in half present headspaces; the air smelled of the sorrow currently tracking through the two males bodies. 

It was suffocating, the way that they stared at each other, eyes teary and unfocused with pain stretched faces. 

“George,” Clay whispered, bringing his trembling arm up towards the brunet. George flinched and moved back, curling into himself and grasping his own arms securely. Gasping and quickly retracting, the blond stared at his hand as if it had burned him. As if it was the cause of this horrendous moment that, while it would be insignificant to any other regular person, it meant everything to the broken lovers.

Gulping, shoving his hair aware from his sweaty face, Clay tried to rearrange his thoughts, gnawing at his inner lip, fingers picking at the worn fabric of his, well it was actually George’s, old and baggy t-shirt.

On the other side of the dulled room, George blinked forcefully, unable to process anything right now. He didn’t even begin to register the warm tears now streaking down his what felt like frozen face.

“Listen-” the blond began but was quickly interrupted. 

Something about his tone stirred up the older’s inner rage that he had pushed away until now, still too in shock to react correctly. But now it was red hot like a raging fire that burned and it was clear in his squinted eyes that still welled with tears. He scrunched up his face and took in a deep breath.

“No, Clay! What do I have to listen to, huh?! No. Fuck you. Get-” George was cut off by his own broken hiccup. The younger’s face contorted in pain as he watched his boyfriend as if he was the one directly on the edge of completely sobbing; to be fair, he was close. 

“Get fucked, I don’t want to listen to you. I want to leave, damnit.” Another hiccup erupted but he forced himself to swallow his tears and turn, suddenly grateful he was directly in front of the door that was open from… previous events.

Clay panicked and raced over to shut the door, slamming it more forceful than he meant to and wincing as he heard the way the wood almost cracked.

He couldn’t let it end like this. There was no way he was going to let this situation progress any further; he swore it to himself then and there. He’d fucked up too many times tonight, this was going to be something he would fix. 

Jumping, George backed up into Clay’s heaving chest, bringing his hands up to his own. Shocked for only a moment, he quickly pushed himself away from the warm form. It made him break more than he’d like to admit. With every bone inside of him he wanted to just hug the taller, let all his worries and bad memories rush away, spilling off of him just like he had hundreds of times before. The feeling was almost torturous and it caused an ache to wrack his chest. At the same time, a small voice in that back of his head told him to leave and never come back; he was incredibly conflicted.

“Do that again and I knock you so hard in the mouth you regret it.”

Normally the threat was an empty one, these types of things being said constantly as a joke. They both know that it would never happen; but that was when things were actually normal. Right now was a cosmic explosion in their own minds, time slowing as Clay stared down at the smaller’s shaking frame that’s head only stayed fixed on the doorknob. 

“George, I’m sorry. I know I fucked up but please,” the younger pleaded, fully prepared to get on his knees and beg his boyfriend to listen to him. Part of him hoped that if he did that he’d hear that wonderful laugh again, the one that caused butterflies to entrap his stomach and heat to burn across his face; the good kind. Not the kind that was only caused by the tears falling down his pale cheeks. Deep down though, he knew that there was going to be no smiles anytime soon which ate at him.

“If you know you fucked up, let me go.”

///////////////////////////////////////

George kicked off his shoes, giggling to himself quietly as he tightened his grip on the small paper bag in his hand. He was incredibly excited to show Clay the gift he had gotten for him; for their 2 year anniversary of course. Knowing he should wait, the brunet mulled over the thought of how tonight would go, worried that it wouldn’t be enough but quickly shaking his head and whispering to himself about how Clay would love it dearly.

He had run his hand through his hair and then headed back to their shared room, aware his partner wouldn’t be home right now. The poor man was lost in his own thoughts and hadn’t realized the random clothes sprawled across the wood floor, not noticing the noise currently coming from behind the closed door. Instead, a goofy smile sat on his face and a dazed expression, excitement making its way through his body.

Clay hadn’t heard the noises outside, currently puffing out air as he pushed himself back against the bed frame. If only he had paid more attention, thought more about what decision he was making as this random guy from his high school tried to seduce him. Because in his blinded state, it had worked and fuck he knew he’d look back on it and wish he had looked down at his shirt that smelled just like his boyfriend.

Instead, George walked in on them and immediately dropped the bag that landed with a small thump, his breath catching as he stared at the scene. His throat dried up and felt like it was ready to rip if he took in one more gulp of air so he held it, only able to scan his eyes along this stranger’s unclothed body. Shivering a whole body shiver, he glanced up at Clay, eyes wide and unyielding.

“George,” the blond had gasped out, kicking away his old classmate and standing, grateful he had kept his clothes on.

In an instant the guy was gone but neither had realized, only fixated on the other.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“If you know you fucked up, let me go.”

The words tore into the blond’s chest with unmerciful grips. Implication after implication flew through his mind and his only response was to vigorously shake his head, stumbling back enough for George to have room to turn around. 

“No. No, I can’t let you go. I… Georgie please.” It was clear the beg was full hearted and the brunet kept his look on the floor, knowing that if right now in this split second time of misery they were both standing in, if he looked up it’d be game over. There would be no hesitation from him to run into the strong arms that made him feel warm on the coldest days, that held him when he needed it most. Looking into those bright green eyes that definitely shined with tears would break him down, piece by piece until all he wanted was to breathe in the taller and forget everything else was real.

“This was your mistake, you learn to pay the consequences eventually.”

Emotions simmered in the room and this felt like another one of those love stories that when it ended, you couldn’t get yourself to stop thinking about all the ways the shattered could have been glued back together until they were all happy again; because that’s all we want. Happiness. And the fact that George was Clay’s happiness, it meant that if he lost him, he lost everything.

He was nothing without his lovely, talented, wonderful boyfriend and he knew it. So of course he wasn’t too keen on the idea of every letting go. 

Being so dangerously in love meant risks were taken time and time again. Trust gets snapped in two and that means the end of everything. It’s a horrifying thought, the more you analyze it but at the same time it’s wonderful. These deep feelings that encapsulate your soul will leave you paralyzed sometimes, but when you have the chance to hold the person you love so near and dear to your heart, it makes it all worth it.

The brunet was trying his best not to think about any of this, instead turning back to the door and rubbing his arms like he was freezing.

“I’m going to Sap’s. If you need me, I’ll be there. But otherwise,” There was a bite in his tone, the anger rising once more, burying down the sick feeling he got at the thought of how he was leaving the love of his life. He kept having to remind himself that he literally caught the blond cheating, mumbling it over and over again in his own head but it did nothing to calm his wretched soul. “I don’t want to see you. If it’s not important, leave me alone.”

Waiting for no response, George peacefully made his way out the door.

As soon as Clay heard that little ‘click’, all hell broke loose. He fell to the floor sobbing, gripping at his hair and listening to his own broken hiccups and whispers. For some reason, he was still begging silently for George to return even though he was aware the older had left already, probably already in his car. All he wanted was his boyfriend back, all he wanted was to pull him close and kiss his hair, running his hands along the always cold back of the person he loved so dearly.

The more he thought about it, the more painful it became. New rips of flesh were being torn from his chest, heart thumping in newfound pain and it felt like it would never ever stop. He’d read countless stories about tales of lovers falling apart, something bringing them to their own demise or everything just crumbling beneath them. Every time he had read them, it was never even a thought in his mind that that would ever be the case between him and the man he loved so much it hurt. He would think to himself, “I’m always going to have my George and he’s always going to have me.”

Sniffling and more sobs echoing his chest, Clay noticed something out of the corner of his eye though it was incredibly blurry. Quickly wiping his shaking hands over his face, he realized it was the bag that his boyfriend had dropped earlier.

Heart aching, he leaned to grab it, inspecting what was inside. It seemed like a small case of some sort, something he’d seen in commercials before…

The recognition hit him like a truck at full speed.

It was an engagement ring. George was going to propose to him. On their anniversary, George was going to propose.

Falling deeper into the abyss of his sorrows, Clay held tightly to the box and hugged it to his chest, not once stopping from crying; not even as his head pounded so bad he could barely breathe.

How had he fucked up so bad?


	2. You Fucked Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clay’s been out of wack ever since the fateful day happened; his friend tries to set him straight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyo back again with another chapter. i hope y’all enjoyyyyy

Days had passed, the blond wasn’t sure how many. It’s not like he cared enough to pay attention, instead trapped in his own bed with constant regrets ringing in his ears, terrifying thoughts eating him alive. He replayed the moment more times than he could count, reliving it over and over, every second he could remember encasing his brain. 

Clay’s phone had buzzed countless times as people tried to get in contact with him. Yet he paid no mind to each ping that came through. Instead he laid there quietly; not eating, not showering and only getting up for water, the bathroom or to feed Patches. Blinds closed, dim sun rays filtered into his dull room. It felt so incredibly… empty without George and that thought alone brought tears to his red and puffy eyes.

The crying had stopped eventually, dehydration kicking in by the first 3 hours of doing so and exhaustion settling heavy on his bones. Whatever purpose he had in life felt gone and decayed so what point was there? It made him laugh almost; he felt it was deserved. Deep down he knew he was the one that messed up and as much as it made a burning feeling sink into his empty stomach, there was no chance at not accepting it.

Everyone was probably mad at him, he thought to himself time and time again, staring at the dust particles as they floated around his room. Silently, he had wished he’d become one and would just float with no thoughts, no feelings, just constantly floating in the air.

A ding from his phone dragged him out of his mind and he groaned, bringing his blanket up to his face and letting it rest on his head. Maybe if he hid under the covers, nobody would remember he was real.

Another ding reminded him that would never happen.

This ding was followed by a consistent buzz though, indicating that someone was calling him-again-and he decided to ignore it. But the buzz didn’t go away as the person kept calling; it was clear they weren’t going to give up.

Groaning once more and throwing the blanket off him before rubbing his hands over his face, the male fumbled for his phone on the bedside. He cursed as his fingers hit hard against wood but snatched his phone nonetheless and hesitantly clicked the answer button.

Unfortunately, he hadn’t paid attention to the caller ID.

“Hello,” he mumbled, still groggy from how often he’d been sleeping; it was the only way to make his thoughts go away and he was grateful he wasn’t one to have nightmares.

“You are a fucking dumbass aren’t you? First off what the fuck, Dream and second off fuck you-”

The voice was loud and unrelenting and Clay had to move the phone away from his ear before he went deaf. At least the person woke him up a bit more, he thought begrudgingly. 

“Quackity, yes. I know I’m stupid, I get it-”

“No, I don’t think you do!” the other male responded, quickly beginning his ramble once more. His tone indicated he was annoyed by the interruption.

“Because you really went and decided to fuck shit up, huh? I mean seriously, Dream. George has been at Sap’s fuckin crying for days now and we don’t even know what to do at this point. Not only have you broken his fuckin heart but you ALSO indirectly have caused the rest of us a shit ton of pain.”

Clay sat up at that, eyebrows furrowing and propping himself on his hand, now much more invested in this conversation.

“Wait, what?” he questioned and Quackity continued.

“Yeah, I don’t know if you know your friends and shit but now we are grieving with George collectively because he is one of our closest friends and he was going to fucking propse to you and we were all in on it-”

The blond cringed at that, remembering how heartbroken he’d been when he found the ring. It tore him to pieces and he mulled over it for hours on end.

“So we were trying to help him and do you know how fucking excited he was, man?! He was so pumped and nervous because he was scared you wouldn’t like it, constantly messaging us all about it and we were so proud of him for finally building up the god damn courage to propose but you had to go fuck some rando and cheat on him-”

“Technically we didn’t fuck,” Clay said as a half ass attempt to defend himself.

“Tell me if it sounds like I give a shit.”

That was fair.

“But stop interrupting me because I’m not done with you yet, Mr. ‘I can’t answer my fucking phone for 5 days’.”

He couldn’t believe it’d been five days; five days since he’d lost the love of his life due to his own stupid mistake. It made him shake slightly to think about.

“Not only are you a dickhead for cheating on one of the people that cared about you the most in life but we’ve been fuckin worried sick because as mad as we are, we also prefer not to see you dying and rotting away in your house. Well, some of us at least. I think Techno is close to killing you himself, I’m gonna be honest. But to be frank, I’m this fucking close to doing the same.”

“Don’t worry,” Clay thought to himself. “I’ve thought about it too.”

The phone was melding to his face at this point, Quackity stopping at nothing to get his point across and honestly, the blond could not at all blame him. If he saw the same thing happen with any of his friends, he would’ve chewed out the person who cheated just as his friend was doing to him right now. But it still ached deep down in his chest because nothing could cover up the immense regret he felt. Still, in all that, he knew it was well deserved that they yell at him.

Tuning back in, Clay continued to listen to his friend who was relentless, going on about how hurt everyone was and still commenting on his stupid he is, which he fully agreed with. Through all of it though, he was slowly realizing how hungry he was and how much he’d missed hearing his friends' voices. His stomach grumbled at the thought of any type of food.

“If only I could hear George again,” he thought but buried that feeling deep down; there was no reason to continue getting lost in himself over the man who was never coming back solely because he had fucked up.

“Clay, are you even fucking listening to me?” Quackity exclaimed, letting out a heavy sigh after a good few minutes of yelling.

Snapping out of his thoughts and straightening himself as if the raven haired male could hear him, Clay ruffled his hair and nodded but then realized they were calling and said, “Yes.”

“Okay then answer my question; are you going to try and fix this?”

Widening his eyes, the blond stumbled over his own words, sputtering for a few seconds before falling silent. Was this even fixable? Was the damage he’d caused erasable? Clay had known George for years and he knew how his, probably now ex, boyfriend took things like this. It was hard for him to let go and forgive and that especially applied when he’d been hurt so intensely and it was obvious this hurt him as it would anyone. 

“What is there to fix, Quackity?” Clay spit out much meaner than he meant to.

Quackity clicked his tongue and snapped back, “Don’t fuckin use that tone with me. You’re the one that fucked up here.”

Nodding again and humming, Clay rubbed his temple and scrunched his eyes closed. His brain was working more than it was earlier and he wasn’t too happy about it because it meant more comprehensible thoughts of what’d he’d done. 

“There is something to fix because as pissed as he is right now, he misses you. I know I shouldn’t be the one to tell you this but I think you need to hear it because maybe it’ll get you off your ass.”

The blonds heart jumped at the idea, popping up and looking towards his window which now darkened with the sunset. Night was approaching quickly and his eyes grazed over the blinds. 

“He… he does?”

“Well of course he does. You guys have been dating for a long time, Dream. Like a long time. You’ve known each other even longer. Don’t let it get to your head though. If you do want to fix this, it’ll take a lot.”

“Yeah, yeah I know,” Clay responded quietly, gnawing at the inside of his lip as his fingers loosely clawed at his covers, nervously fidgeting.

“What do you think I should do then?” he finally said after a few moments of silence.

“That’s your fucking job, dude. Not mine. I’ve done all I can and want here. But hey,” Quackity’s tone softened just the slightest amount; it was almost unnoticeable but Clay picked up on it. “Maybe eat something. We’re mad at you but… you have to eat.”

Pushing a shaky hand through his hair again, Clay let out a puff of air and agreed, ending the call with his friend but not before a few more seconds of being cursed out and then the sudden noise of it ending.

Sighing, the male realized how late it truly was, once again becoming aware of how dark his room was becoming as the sun died down. He switched on the light and looked towards his open bedroom door; he’d have to make the trek to his kitchen somehow without falling over which he was almost positive he was going to do. It was overwhelming as he was now thinking about all the things he hadn’t done in days that he probably should have and it made his head spin.

“One step at a time,” he said to himself quietly. “Just one step at a time.”

So, in a brave attempt-in his eyes at least-the male swung his legs over his bed and watched as the muscles flexed at the newfound movement. It had been a few hours since his last trip out of his covers and while he sat at a gaming chair most of his time, his body wasn’t used to a constant dormant state where standing only lasted a few minutes.

Cursing to himself he remembered he needed to feed Patches again today and that motivated him a little farther at least; even as his fingers gripped tightly as his own heavy and dirty shirt, he shuffled his way out of his warm room and was hit with some cooler air. The unoccupied space of most of his rooms meant cooled down temperatures and he shivered slightly. In attempts to warm up, he rubbed his clothed arms and looked down at his shirt.

The smell of George had worn off a few days ago which made him cry when he had noticed. It almost made him cry again now as he reminisced over when he had basically stolen it from the brunette. 

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“George!” the younger giggled, falling backwards onto their shared bed and bouncing. His boyfriend followed behind and dropped on top of him which made them both wheeze and grunt before holding on to the other.

George poked Clay’s face with his pale finger repeatedly and smiled at the way the blond tried to shift his face in attempts to get away. He couldn’t help but laugh at the way the male that currently laid under him almost caught his finger between his teeth.

“Don’t bite me!” he shouted and lightly slapped his partner on the chest. Clay wheezed and threw his head back, securely wrapping his arms around George’s slim frame.

“Well then don’t poke me,” Clay teased.

“I’ll do as I so please, thank you very much,” the older mocked before bringing his arms under the blond’s neck, carding his fingers through the soft and fluffy hair with gentle tugs. Clay leaned into the feeling, closing his eyes and smiling contently.

With a hum and another small movement, George cradled his boyfriends head and inspected his features. Time and time again they both felt like this as they were held close together; butterflies encasing their stomach even though they’d been this close thousands and thousands of times. Maybe that’s what made them so deeply in love that it was like a never ending sea, all for them to indulge in as they giggled and joked. No matter how many times they’d done something together, it never stopped making them both so incredibly happy.

“I love you, yknow,” George whispered and Clay’s eyes slowly shifted open before his smile brightened.

“It’s good I love you too then, huh?”

The older hummed before leaning down to his boyfriends ear, his breath tickling the sensitive skin. It made Clay’s body shiver as he held on just a bit tighter to the male on top of him, fingers loosely clutching at the fabric of his sweatshirt. His breath caught for just a fleeting moment as his smile disappeared and eyes trailed off to the ceiling.

“You still have to give my shirt back.”

A small thump echoed the room followed by a giggle as Clay lightly hit George and all the brunette could do was laugh.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////

His heart ached at the memory and he furrowed his eyebrows, mouth now stuck in a permanent frown as he continued to shuffle his way to the kitchen. He couldn’t help but relish in that past feeling, wanting nothing more than to run his fingers through brunette hair and get lost in deep brown eyes with a soft smile and a glint of joy forever stuck in him.

The world was always brighter with George for him, he thought as he prepared Patches food and clicked his tongue as he called for her. She ran up to him, meowing as her eyes sparkled, unaware of what’d he’d done these past few days and he was somewhat grateful for it. Petting her for a few seconds before allowing her to eat, he stood and began getting himself some food.

Something simple was all he wanted; it was all he could manage. His body was already weary from being up and he felt about ready to crumble at any given moment which was only heightened by how he couldn’t stop thinking about George, again.

“Stop,” he mumbled to himself, rubbing his palm into his forehead for a moment before pouring milk into his bowl of cereal; something simple.

“Don’t let yourself just… do that. It only hurts.”

So instead of dwelling over the man he’d lost, temporarily he could hope, he decided to finish eating and then get himself a shower and finally brush his teeth for once. It wasn’t much but the warm water felt good as it covered his body. It almost washed away all his worries, melting everything for just a second as soap combined with sorrows; it made him giggle slightly at how dramatic he sounded in his own thoughts. And brushing his teeth felt nice too since now his mouth didn’t feel so gross and decayed.

Dressing was probably the most challenging part since he couldn’t help but automatically reach to George’s side of the dresser for a shirt; ever since they’d moved in together somewhere around a year ago, everything they owned quickly became a shared item though neither minded even if they joked they did. But he knew that wearing George’s clothes would send him straight back into his mess of a spiraling mind so he refrained from doing so, even if it took so much strength.

Finished with everything he wanted to do, the male laid back down and stared at the ceiling. He was already tired even though he’d slept for hours today; maybe it was just the darkness seeping into his room from the moon outside or maybe he exhausted himself with his own thoughts. Either way he began to drift off with only one thought on his mind.

“How will I get George back?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i don’t like this much but it’s not my worst work and im very tired and my mental state is down the drain so forgive me JVKDJJF  
> but anyways pls give feedback if you enjoy and until next time, ender out


	3. Should We Talk About It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George is still grieving over his lost relationship and he and Sapnap decided maybe they should have a chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hands yall this*  
> *passes out*  
> i hope you enjoy now im gonna go listen to glass animals and cry  
> ender out  
> (p.s. pls give feedback if you have any and lemme know fi you find errors and shit. love yall byeee)  
> (p.p.s. follow me on insta and twitter @herb_cryptid   
> i post updates on my twitter and art on my insta okay bye for real now nyoommmmm)

Small rain droplets thudded on the window of the small and dimmed room, honks from passing cars signaling everyone had somewhere to be despite the dull weather. Tires passed through puddles and with every splash more noise was heard; this eventually woke up the brunette.

George yawned, rubbing his face against his pillow and reaching one of his arms to his side as he twisted his body. Fingers felt at the cold sheets, kneading into the fabric as he used his other hand to rub at his tired eyes that were still barely open. It took a few quiet moments before a realization hit the poor male, his fingers going limp as he fully opened his eyes and sighed.

“I forgot,” he whispered to himself as he rolled onto his back, the previous sorrows he’s been carrying for the past few days weighing back down on his exhausted frame. Rubbing his palms into his eyes and letting out another large puff of air, he contemplated his thoughts for probably the millionth time; it was all he could do every waking moment at this point. 

Even with Sapnap’s distractions, movies ringing through his ears as he tried so hard to pay attention, the game on his screen blurring every time he dared put his hand on a mouse and keys. There was nothing that stopped him from spacing out and it felt like a curse almost that held onto his shoulders as a lifeline to the point he couldn’t take it anymore. He kept asking himself why it was so difficult, how he couldn’t even force down food no matter how much his best friend tried to motivate him. 

Pain swirled in the pit of his stomach every time he did something. A never ending exhaustion ate at his bones and he prayed it would stop but the only thing that would make it do so was sleep. So that’s all he tried to do. Otherwise he’d open his eyes and immediately break down crying as thoughts flooded back in, cheeks red as sobs echoed his what felt like empty chest; Sapnap did everything he could and George knew that. It was clear in the way he reassuringly sat with the older whenever he tried to eat or do something other than cry, kind eyes watching and a steady hand on his back.

It did nothing to calm his nerves.

He couldn’t help but think over and over as to why Clay would even do such a thing; it was incredibly unlike him to behave this way to the point the brunette mulled over it 90% of the time-the other 10% being crying over how he’d lost the love of his life to some random guy that ended up in their apartment-but there wasn’t a single explanation. George was tempted to call the blond but deep down knew if he did, even to ask simple questions, he’d run back in 5 seconds flat.

Usually nothing kept the two separated for long; not even events or trips could stop them from staying attached at the hip. Their friends teased them for it and something inside the male made him yearn for the laughs of his friends as they poked fun at him and Clay, his boyfriend… well ex-boyfriend, only laughing that wonderful laugh of his and holding him tighter.

Once again he rubbed at his eyes that were sore and bloodshot from his crying, carefully sitting up and bringing his knees to his chest. The rain continued and droplets trickled down his small window and he stared at it in interest, eyes following slowly as he jokingly raced the rain, holding a fake competition in his mind. 

Clutching his legs closer to his body in attempts to gather more warmth for himself, nuzzling his cheek into his blanketed knees, his thoughts almost dissipated with the rain. Silently grateful that he hadn’t started crying immediately as per usual, the male just sat and watched the outside; nothing stopped his mind from wandering though.

Especially since everything reminded him of his once lover. In fact, it’s one of the things that made everything so difficult on a constant basis. Every movement he made, every thought he had, every action he did brought his mind back to Clay, Clay, Clay.

He was drowning in the blond and was unable to swim up so instead he just had to gasp for air whenever he could and hope he’d make it out soon. Holding on to hope was really all he had left, fingers desperately holding on to the imaginary straws he’d created for himself in his own mind. It was excruciating almost as he tried to pull himself up and up but only fell further into the depths of his own miseries.

Maybe he pitied himself or maybe his past experiences brought him here; he wasn’t sure which it was and wasn’t too keen on even trying to find out. He had enough going on, he thought to himself.

A knock at the door threw him out of his thoughts that kept dragging him down and he threw his head to stare at the painted wood. The knock repeated and he cleared his throat before calling out, “Come in.”

Sapnap entered, a barely full plate in his hand as his fingers rested on the gold doorknob. George looked at his features, inspecting the calm and collected look on his friends face. Quietly, he wished he had that same demeanor right now, slightly ashamed by how he must look and have looked for the past few days.

“Hey, George. How’d you sleep?” the male said with a small smile as he walked the rest of the way into the room, the wood floor creaking slightly under his feet and George couldn’t help but look back out to the window.

“It’s raining,” he whispered, laying his face back onto his arms that rested on his scrunched up legs. Rubbing his face against his sweatshirt, well it was actually Sapnap’s since he’d left all his clothes at Clay’s but he refused to delve into that thought, the brunette watched the droplets once more.

His friend chuckled and he felt the weight of the bed dip near him before a small clanking noise was heard as the younger sat the plate of food onto the bed.

“That it is. It looks nice although it is summer so it’s more humid than I’d like when it rains.”

“I wish it was cold here more. It would remind me of London.” The olders voice died off and silence fell on the small and dull guest room. Small talk wasn’t enough to keep George occupied but anything deep threw him into a meltdown. Talking to him right now was like walking through a minefield of a broken heart which was somehow an accurate description to his whole life right now.

Poor Sapnap couldn’t blame him though. Deep down they both knew the effect of what had happened but everyone was too terrified to think about it.

Clay was close to all of them and they’d all been friends for such a long time; something like this cheating situation could tear them all to pieces, at least temporarily. It seems dramatic but when someone is such a large part of a group of people and suddenly a heart is broken by another member, it completely devastates everyone. They all share pain, whether they would admit it or not.

Without warning, George decided to speak up, saying, “Sap, do you think he just didn’t want me anymore? Did I become too much to him?” The brunette’s voice cracked as he thought about it. This had been on his mind for so long now but he hadn’t voiced this feeling; to be fair he hadn’t voiced many of his feelings these past few days.

“I mean… I know sometimes we joke around a lot and it can get heavy but I thought he-” He was interrupted by his own sniffle. “I thought he knew I loved him so much.”

The younger tilted his head, furrowing his brows and clicking his tongue before quickly maneuvering himself so he was right by George’s side. Sheets rubbed up against each other and now all that was heard was Sapnap’s quiet shushing as he rubbed the crying males back, small hiccups and sniffles and the rain that persisted outside.

“Was I not enough for him? I tried to give him whatever I could. I loved him so much and it hurts… god it hurts so much, Sap,” George cried as he leaned his weight into his closest friend, body relaxing as he clutched loosely on the youngers shirt, face digging into the soft fabric.

All these emotions piled up and while he’d been crying almost constantly the past few days, he had never clearly talked about what was going on in his own head. Instead he had mulled over it alone and terrified of whatever he thought of. Sharing feelings felt weak to him, it felt like he was being too vulnerable and it would hurt him more than help him; it was why the only times he could clear out any bad thoughts was with Clay who held him tight and always reassured him, whispering into his ear as he ran his fingers securely through brown hair, “It’s okay. I’m here to help you and love you. I’m not going anywhere.”

That promise melted him every time but now it only tore him down brutally.

“George, George god no. You were enough, George. You always are. You loved him and he knew it but he…” The male took in a deep breath, resting his chin on top of his friends hair. “He made a stupid mistake that had nothing to do with you.”

Somehow this only made him cry harder, digging his wet face into the youngers poor shirt. There was no containing his thoughts anymore. These tears were pure emotion and pain, holding all the bad things in his brain that refused to release. 

Crying after talking about emotions was different than crying silently. When you talked about your emotions, it dragged some of the hurt off your shoulders and let you be more free. In the most simplest terms, it was like letting things down the drain; finally breaking your hold even though you held a death grip on it all. Crying silently only made you feel more full like you were at a breaking point and at any moment you could burst. This was at least in George’s case.

“I wanted to marry him, Sap. He was all I wanted in life, all I needed and now he’s gone,” George whispered after a few more tears fell down his pale face.

“I know. I know, George. It’ll hurt for a while, I’m so sorry. We’re here to help you until it doesn’t,” Sapnap said quietly, watching the water drenched window as he took in a shaky breath. 

Rain continued to trickle down the window in quiet streaks and for a bit nothing was said. Instead the two sat in silence and let everything stew. It was a much needed moment and George hoped that maybe after this it wouldn’t feel like the universe was about to explode every waking second. 

A crack sounded outside and the two jumped, clutching just a bit tighter to each other than before as their eyes widened. George moved his head out from under Sapnap’s and slowly turned his face to look outside.

“Thunder?” they said in sync and then lightly giggled. 

“Definitely,” the younger said, rubbing his hand securely along his friends back. “Do you feel any better?” he asked with a calm tone.

Sighing and looking up into eyes colored like his, the older sniffled and took in a deep breath. For a fleeting minute, everything in his mind calmed down. He knew it wasn’t permanent but he was grateful nonetheless.

“A little. I’m just really tired now,” he mumbled and leaned away from his friend’s warm body. A shiver wracked through his body and instinctively he clutched onto his pale white blanket. Bringing the fabric to his neck, chin resting gently on his hands, George directed his view back to the outside.

No matter how often he’d seen the rain or how loud it could get on a Florida summer day, it calmed him just a bit to think of how peaceful the clouds could be. Their dark grey swirling together above everyone in serene beauty made him feel just a bit better; especially when he was actually semi-grounded to the present like right now. Nature was in control of itself, it had no one saying do this or do that to it and it was so amazing and free. He wished to be that way, not swayed by the slightest words or actions but instead held strong on a post of glory.

“Understandably. You’ve had a rough past few days, Gogy,” Sapnap joked with the silly nickname and the older lightly shoved him with a small smile, wiping his blanket across his puffy eyes.

“I hate you,” George said, voice more firm than it had been all morning. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Yeah, yeah. You love me and you know it.”

“Whatever Sapittus Napittus,” George teased and felt a shoulder shove him back.

Another silent fell upon them as the two friends felt somewhat grateful. For even just this split moment in time, things didn’t feel disastrous and so excruciating. They both knew that George would need healing time with how much he missed Clay-which was incredibly reasonable-and there would be a lot of tears and heartache but the brunette wouldn’t be alone through any of it which is all he could ask for.

Sapnap suddenly spoke up, shifting a bit on the bed and reaching for the plate that had been sitting there, forgotten for a good few minutes now.

“Well, I was hoping I could get at least a little something down you.”

George’s gaze fell upon the dish that was filled with just some simple items: toast, scrambled eggs and two pieces of bacon with a fork rested on the side. His nose scrunched up at the look of it, knowing some of it had to be cold as hell by now and he then looked up at his friend who came to the same realization. Groaning and rubbing the bridge of his nose, Sapnap stood from the bed slowly.

“Yeah I just realized this will be cold and if I’m gonna get you to eat I’m not gonna force you to have cold eggs and bacon. Lemme just… go warm this up.”

Nodding and looking back to the window, the older rested his face on his knees once more, just as he had multiple times on this very eventful morning. Probably the most eventful morning he’s had in a long while and for some reason he chuckled just a bit. Maybe it was the exhaustion or how the tension had finally been lifted slightly from the heavy room that was swirling with his own thoughts and emotions but everything felt a bit lighter than before. Breathing wasn’t as difficult and it made him grateful for his friend.

A slam and curse dragged the brunette away from his thoughts and he leaned to look out through his door. Then, a loud ringing sounded and he quirked an eyebrow as he heard Sapnap’s voice as he answered a call. Curiosity hit him and he slowly threw his blanket off, shivering slightly from the cold temperature of the house and let his bare feet hit the wood floor.

Shuffling to his door frame, fingers gripping onto the painted wall as his tilted head inspected the small hallway in the direction of the kitchen, the male decided to continue his journey. Rubbing sleep and dried tears from his face and eyes, he listened intently as he heard rushed and angry whispers echo the kitchen that was accompanied by the low hum of the microwave. Tilting his head further, George rubbed his nose and looked into the kitchen, feet now touching cold tile.

Sapnap stood there, phone in hand as he leaned against the counter with his back to the older. One of his hands sat against the counter as he quickly tapped his fingers against the old marble. Curiosity still gnawing at his brain, the brunette decided to keep quiet and listen in to what he could hear over the thing currently heating up his food. He quietly cursed at it for being so loud.

“Quackity, Clay really fucked up- Yeah, I know. No he’s still our friend. God, has anyone talked to him in the past few days?” The tone was rushed and hinted with anger but also with worry. George’s heart jumped at the mention of the male’s name but he shook his head after, trying to nail it into his brain of what had happened those few fateful days ago.

Unfortunately for him, it made everything harder that his brain wouldn’t accept that he couldn’t just go running back to Clay even if he really wanted to. It ached every time he thought more about it-which was almost constantly-so he just tried to shove it down.

Rubbing a cold hand over his face, the male forced himself out of his thoughts and tuned back into the phone conversation.

“...Bad said he thinks we should talk to Clay. I don’t know, but maybe he’s right. This truly doesn’t seem like a Clay thing to do. Maybe we should be worried… I’m not saying I’m not mad, dude-”

A ding sounded as the microwave finished heating up his food and both the males jumped and in a distracted moment, George didn’t notice Sapnap turn to look in his direction; he was still staring at the device and glaring at it for being so loud.

“Fuck-” Sapnap cursed as he saw his friend who stood at the very edge of the kitchen and they made eye contact. Both stood quietly for a second like deer in headlights and George’s fingers gripped tighter against the frame to enter the kitchen. He awkwardly smiled and walked the rest of the way into the kitchen.

“Quackity I have to go. We’ll talk about this later,” the younger said before ending the call abruptly. Stuffing his phone into his pocket, he stared at his friend with his mouth open before he decided to ask, “How much did you hear?”

“Enough. I’m not mad or upset. I agree.”

The older was slightly relieved that others agreed with him; that he wasn’t the only one that had noticed that that behavior wasn’t like his ex lover. It was one of the most prevalent thoughts he had and the fact that his friends were on the same page made him feel like it wasn’t just dazed and heartbroken thoughts processes eating at him.

Sighing and making his way to the microwave, Sapnap popped open the small door and grabbed the now steaming breakfast food. He dug his palm into his forehead as he lightly set down the plate and it made a small clink on the counter.

“George, I’m not gonna force you to talk about it right now, okay? You’ve probably stewed in those thoughts longer than you should have to and so-”

“I’m willing to. Maybe it’ll help,” the brunette interrupted, staring at the food. Suddenly, he was just a bit hungry.

“But while we do it, I wanna eat some of that. Do you have butter, Sap?”

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked it!!! lemme know your feedback pls and thank you along with spelling errors if there were any  
> kiss kiss much love  
> and until next time (which will probably be soon. im invested)  
> ender out


End file.
